This is perhaps the most noticable attribute that I’ve acquired during my post college life. I now eat my feelings. Food is my companion. And this feeling of loneliness is an unfamiliar feeling that I have yet to resolve. So I go to eat with friends, I go out with friends, I smoke with friends knowing that in just a few hours, I’ll be alone again. It was either a dream or it was reality. I was sitting down, reading a book, completely zoned out in my old world. I looked up and saw an older man and looked around me. Then, I realized even then, surrounded by others, I was alone. So I’m writing down what I eat each and every single day. And I see that this feeling is worse than heartbreak. For I know heartbreak is temporary. But this feeling of loneliness I’m not too sure. And it’s not the classic lobeliness of wanting a partner. In fact having a guy right now would be the worst thing ever as I would make him my everything. Because of course right now, I feel as if I have nothing. I think maybe it’s because of where I live, living alone and/or my career. So maybe I should set some goals to change those situations. But alas, loneliness taps me on the shoulder and forces me to stay with him.
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14/15 years old.
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On repeat.
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Loneliness
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Echoes of my thoughts remain constant around me.
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(via inside-homes)
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It all flew by too fcuking fast.
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I cling to the past because I loved all of it. And I knew it, I just had a grasp on reality of which I no longer possess.
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They never will tell you about the post-grad loneliness and that life after college BITES hard .
