This is perhaps the most noticable attribute that I’ve acquired during my post college life. I now eat my feelings. Food is my companion. And this feeling of loneliness is an unfamiliar feeling that I have yet to resolve. So I go to eat with friends, I go out with friends, I smoke with friends knowing that in just a few hours, I’ll be alone again. It was either a dream or it was reality. I was sitting down, reading a book, completely zoned out in my old world. I looked up and saw an older man and looked around me. Then, I realized even then, surrounded by others, I was alone. So I’m writing down what I eat each and every single day. And I see that this feeling is worse than heartbreak. For I know heartbreak is temporary. But this feeling of loneliness I’m not too sure. And it’s not the classic lobeliness of wanting a partner. In fact having a guy right now would be the worst thing ever as I would make him my everything. Because of course right now, I feel as if I have nothing. I think maybe it’s because of where I live, living alone and/or my career. So maybe I should set some goals to change those situations. But alas, loneliness taps me on the shoulder and forces me to stay with him.